Teaching Troubled Teens to Communicate Emotionally | Silence of the Lambs Pt 3

Teaching Troubled Teens to Communicate Emotionally | Silence of the Lambs Pt 3, by Craig Rogers, co-founder of Abundant Life Academy, a Christian boarding school for troubled teens who are really strong leaders of power, potential, and great worth.

Some think that troubled teens are simply lazy and don’t put forth the effort to develop their communication skills. Perhaps that is true, and if so then I say, “what a waste!”. If this is true then hey are stuck and silenced. Some say the the only meaningful word of conviction from a troubled teen is a foul word of disrespect, such as the “F-word”. If that is true then troubled teens who’s best asset regarding his/her communication skills is the use of foul language does not realize how stupid they sound. Yes, “Stupid”. The troubled teen that present themselves through foul language of disrespect act as though they are retarded. What I mean to say is that they are emotionally retarded, or emotionally unable to communicate, therefore their only means of strong conviction would be the use of foul language (aggressive language of disgrace and disdain). However, having said that, those professionals who serve troubled teens need to learn to decipher and to translate these foul words into effective words, thus teaching the troubled teen a new language, a language of expression, hope, and empowerment.

These same troubled teens we are talking about above seem to be were to hard work and effort. To learn a new language, to learn to communicate one’s emotions effectively (getting your emotional needs met) is hard work. Unfortunately, some troubled teens, the one’s who seem to be allergic to hard work and effort, never develop the skills of responsibility or accountability. Therefore, they don’t learn the discipline of “trust”, “respect”, “submission to authority”, or “forgiveness” and therefore they never learn to communicate from their heart (cannot empathized and therefore can’t communicate with others at an emotional level). They are deaf, dumb, and unable to convey a personal thought or feeling (emotion) unless it is mired in blame, justification, and victim hood. At that point no one is listening, and their voice, their message to the world, their inner most personal life expression is paralyzed and oppressed into obscurity, silenced and overlooked. Unfortunately the very purpose and reason for the troubled teens existence is silenced and never amounts to any meaningful experience.

The silent hurting lambs (troubled teens) are actually very vocal, but they’re words and their message are not heard. They sound so unintelligible, like spoiled rotten babies, stammering, throwing around f-bombs as if they were pieces of hard candy. These silent lambs stammering about as if they were in a fog, funk, or stupor. There is a sense of terror in their cause as they strike out and rail against those who have stood by them, supporting them, teaching and directing them out of the abyss and back toward the fulfillment of their message. After awhile their only communication is hate, anger, and judgment. You can cut their sense of frustration and personal disappointment with a knife. The sense of loss and regret these kids have is thick, and gooey, and icky, like puss that oozes out of an infected sore. The goal is to teach them a new language, to have new awareness (emotional), new practices, and new experiences. To set them free and to help them to experience fullness you have to help them to communicate their inner most express (purpose, their heart, and their hurt).

At the point of frustration things get worse, because no one is listening anymore, and the troubled teens begin to act out their frustration and disappointment. Who wants to listen to another misguided ignorant whiney complaining teen? You know the one’s I’m referring to, the teens that use foul and vulgar language, spewing venom on authority and those who have attempted to pull them out of their own demise. They are their only and own worst enemy. I guess the only people who are sympathetic to the “silence of the lambs” are other silent sheep. But even they are not “hearing”. Everyone else of importance has departed, tired of the same old nasty blame game, having no more tolerance for the “victim-stance”. The only people left to listen to the deafening silence of the troubled teen are those who love the stray hairless homeless dog who is starving and pathetic looking, diseased, and unlovable by most. There are not enough of these “saints” to meet all the needs of the “silent lambs”.

You can spot the troubled teen who is not heard, because they are the one’s who strike out with hateful speech, anger, and contempt for those who are heard. These troubled ones, they are those who are obviously unable to express their inner most heart, they feel discarded and dismissed by the masses, devalued and disconnected by those closest to them. What is the answer to their horrid dilemma? Jesus in the only answer! In this case, Jesus is empathy, understanding, patience, perseverance, long suffering… and love. Only the redeeming love of Christ can set us free from the selfish and self-centered trap of oppression. Therefore, stop listening to the clanging noise, look past the hurtful words, and begin to see the hurting person who is thrashing about. Take the insults and the slurs, stick with them long enough so they know you are trustworthy. Listen to what they are not saying and translate the rest. Listening, building trust, and then coach them on how to be heard, helping them to develop communication skills. Its called emotional intelligence. All of a sudden the troubled teen is no longer troubled. Replacing the foul hate speech with empathy, sensitivity, and patience. The transformation is a rush, setting free the silent lambs to become roaring lions, full of power, grace, and strength.

Related articles

• Troubled Teens Not Being Heard | The Silence of the Lambs Pt 1 (craigstephenrogers.com)
• California Parents using Therapeutic Boarding Schools in Utah (craigstephenrogers.com)
• Reality Check for Troubled Teens | Worried Parents (craigstephenrogers.com)
• Youth system ‘failed’ slain Calgarian (calgaryherald.com)
• The Emotional Growth of Our Tweens and Teens (brighthub.com)
• The Ugly Side of America, Part 6: Teen suicide, teen drug abuse and teen bullying. (thetruthissomewhereinthemiddle.wordpress.com)
• A Mentor’s Goal: Keeping At-Risk Chicago Teens Alive (npr.org)
• The history of managing troubled teens without medication (theelanschool.com)
• Abundant Life Academy Parent Reviews (craigstephenrogers.com)
• Repairing your Online Reputation 101 | Part 6 (craigstephenrogers.com)
• Cyber Bullies – Cowards of Facebook – Hate Speech of Intolerance (craigstephenrogers.com)
• Intolerance Practiced by Angela Smith and Eric Norwood (craigstephenrogers.com)
• People of Hate are People Who Lack Emotional Intelligence (craigstephenrogers.com)
• Heal-Online & Fornit’s Wayward Web Fora Falsify Info to Harm Boarding Schools (craigstephenrogers.com)
• Repairing your Online Reputation 101 – Part 2 (craigstephenrogers.com)